I've been reading a book called "Plan B" by Pete Wilson. It's all about how God works through those Plan B moments in your life...you know- when you have Plan A all figured out and it crashes down around you and you have to go to Plan B.
No one chooses a Plan B- it just happens. And I know because I have been through a few in my life- having scoliosis and wearing a back brace for three years in Jr. High (that makes you really popular by the way), dealing with an eating disorder, the death of my grandma, grandpa and dad in a four month period of time, moving far away from family & friends, and infertility. I am no stranger to Plan Bs, so you would think I would be prepared for them by now.
Nope.
Not even close.
My husband lost his job six months ago and things have been really tough. There has been no one to bail us out and it is a scary time, especially having two kids. The job hunt has been slow and we are all without health insurance. Honestly- there are some things that have not gotten paid. I hate it with all my heart- but it is what it is. It stinks. And in moments of weakness I have not dealt with it very well.
So when I had the chance to see RED in Indy- I was so stoked because I knew I would take some shred of hope with me. And it got cancelled. Another Plan B- actually one of the gals with me that night called it that- and I didn't do too well with that either. Then I jumped at the chance to go see them in Nashville and the shred of hope that I so longed for was WAY more than that!
You see- God spoke through those four guys that night and gave me a whole lot of hope and not just a shred! When Michael sang "Not Alone" he knelt down and during the part "And I will be your hope, when you feel like it's over, I will pick you up- when your whole world shatters," and as he looked in my eyes- I knew that God had ahold of me- of my family- my novel- my school- my friends- He had it.
Pete Wilson says this; "While life is uncertain, God is not. While our power is limited, God's is limitless. While our hope may be fragile, God is hope himself."
Hope.
My hope is fragile at best..but God IS hope. Wow! That is an amazing truth! And it mirrors "Not Alone"
"I am with you, I will carry you through it all. I won't leave you, I will catch you when you feel like letting go, cuz you're not, you're not alone..."
It's been a theme for me the last few weeks....hope. It has come in the form of Bible verses, songs, movies, you name it- it has come my way.
So today I found out that I did not get selected for the writing conference that I applied for a scholarship for. I was crushed and here we go with Plan B again.... but I read the words from the book "Plan B" and here is what it said:
"I can have hope when there is no circumstantial reason to have hope. My hope is not based on what the stock market does or what others think of me or whether my life turns out the way I want it to turn out. My hope is based on a powerful, in-control God who can do and will do the impossible."
Yep..more hope.
Then I had a 'light bulb' moment. Elijah in the Bible had been dealing with some tough things and found himself alone and without food. But God sent him hope in the form of a raven. That raven fed Elijah faithfully and was God's way of giving him hope.
Just as I know God has sent my ravens in my yard as well as in my novel. They give me hope. And I know that God has plans that I have no clue about. No matter what the Plan B is- unemployment or a dashed dream or whatever you are going through right now...Hope is there.
When I was having my pity party about the writing thing this afternoon and was bulleting prayers at God- the only thing I could think of was He was saying- "I've got this."
And that's enough for me.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Careful...or You'll End Up in My Novel
I am an observer. I love to watch people- and I learned from the master. My father was rather unassuming but he loved to people watch. When he and mom went to Las Vegas it was no surprise to me that his favorite thing to do was watch the people in the lobby of the hotel they stayed in. (He saw many bizarre people by the way...) Through the years I have gleaned much from just stepping back and watching people. Maybe that's why at first I may seem quiet or stuck up. I'm not either of those things, but I am observing the situation. It gives me a better idea of how to proceed.
Turns out this is an invaluable tool for writers. Even though I write fiction, I pick up inspiration from watching people. Not one single character is based on one person- but a mish-mash of physical, emotional, and verbal characteristics. So when a dear friend of mine from Nebraska sent me a sign that reads "Careful.. or you'll end up in my novel" it was the truth. If the people around me really knew what I have picked up from watching them....well I don't know if they would be honored or freaked out. (so far no restraining orders have been issued against me! LOL!)
For example, last night at the fireworks display- I saw a very tiny girl sitting on an older man's shoulders. The man was grinning from ear to ear and the itty-bitty was grabbing handfuls of his hair and giggling like mad. As I watched them, my mind took note of the man's movement, his smile and the girl's laughter. I know somewhere in my story an older man will have a small child on his shoulders with the same smile on his face. That man will never know that his simple act of carrying the small girl (possibly his granddaughter?) inspired a small scene in my novel.
As I mentioned, not one single person in my story is based on a real person- but pieces of them. For example- one of my main guys looks like the lead singer in Disciple- has the intensity and drive of Michael from RED- has the personality of my husband- and a voice similar to Josh Groban. So is he any one of those folks? Nope. He is made up of pieces of them....and others too.
I have found that Cracker Barrel is a wonderful place to get ideas from. On Christmas Eve last year there was a huge group of guys (all ages and sizes) hanging out and eating together. The noise level was crazy and it was hard for me to focus on any one person -there was so many of them talking and telling stories. Then the food came....and it became silent. The noise didn't fade away- it simply stopped. I fought the urge to laugh out loud! As they ate- there were snippets of conversation- but not much. I whipped my notebook out (I carry one or two of them everywhere....even small ones for my purse) and wrote furiously. I know it will end up somewhere in the novel. Maybe the guys are eating in the Great Hall of a castle...I don't know..but it inspired me.
If you are around me at all...chances are I have snatched something to use in my story. I probably won't tell you because like I said my characters are their own creations, but when the day comes that you read my book, you may wonder about it.
I have a set of twin brothers in my story and they have been so much fun to create. I can tell you that they started out as inspiration from a band that I love....but they have evolved into their own personalities and I am so crazy about Thad and Zev! I took a starting point and observed the real people- then I took some other things and created my characters.
So really....you don't need to be careful- chances are you are in my novel in some way, shape. or form. And if you aren't in this one--you may be in the next! LOL!
I challenge you to look around today. Just sit back and watch what's going on around you. You don't have to be a writer to observe and get inspiration from others.
By the way....when I finally found a picture of one of my bad guys- it didn't come from someone I knew, it came in a advertisement for men's clothes. I opened up the mailbox and there he was, just waiting for me to notice him!
Turns out this is an invaluable tool for writers. Even though I write fiction, I pick up inspiration from watching people. Not one single character is based on one person- but a mish-mash of physical, emotional, and verbal characteristics. So when a dear friend of mine from Nebraska sent me a sign that reads "Careful.. or you'll end up in my novel" it was the truth. If the people around me really knew what I have picked up from watching them....well I don't know if they would be honored or freaked out. (so far no restraining orders have been issued against me! LOL!)
For example, last night at the fireworks display- I saw a very tiny girl sitting on an older man's shoulders. The man was grinning from ear to ear and the itty-bitty was grabbing handfuls of his hair and giggling like mad. As I watched them, my mind took note of the man's movement, his smile and the girl's laughter. I know somewhere in my story an older man will have a small child on his shoulders with the same smile on his face. That man will never know that his simple act of carrying the small girl (possibly his granddaughter?) inspired a small scene in my novel.
As I mentioned, not one single person in my story is based on a real person- but pieces of them. For example- one of my main guys looks like the lead singer in Disciple- has the intensity and drive of Michael from RED- has the personality of my husband- and a voice similar to Josh Groban. So is he any one of those folks? Nope. He is made up of pieces of them....and others too.
I have found that Cracker Barrel is a wonderful place to get ideas from. On Christmas Eve last year there was a huge group of guys (all ages and sizes) hanging out and eating together. The noise level was crazy and it was hard for me to focus on any one person -there was so many of them talking and telling stories. Then the food came....and it became silent. The noise didn't fade away- it simply stopped. I fought the urge to laugh out loud! As they ate- there were snippets of conversation- but not much. I whipped my notebook out (I carry one or two of them everywhere....even small ones for my purse) and wrote furiously. I know it will end up somewhere in the novel. Maybe the guys are eating in the Great Hall of a castle...I don't know..but it inspired me.
If you are around me at all...chances are I have snatched something to use in my story. I probably won't tell you because like I said my characters are their own creations, but when the day comes that you read my book, you may wonder about it.
I have a set of twin brothers in my story and they have been so much fun to create. I can tell you that they started out as inspiration from a band that I love....but they have evolved into their own personalities and I am so crazy about Thad and Zev! I took a starting point and observed the real people- then I took some other things and created my characters.
So really....you don't need to be careful- chances are you are in my novel in some way, shape. or form. And if you aren't in this one--you may be in the next! LOL!
I challenge you to look around today. Just sit back and watch what's going on around you. You don't have to be a writer to observe and get inspiration from others.
By the way....when I finally found a picture of one of my bad guys- it didn't come from someone I knew, it came in a advertisement for men's clothes. I opened up the mailbox and there he was, just waiting for me to notice him!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
23 Years Later- What that 21 year-old bride Did Not Know...
Today is our 23rd Wedding Anniversary. As I think about that, I am reminded that I was only 21 years old when I promised to love and honor in good times and bad, sickness and health and all the other promises we made that day.
My 21 year old self did not know what would be embedded in those 23 years. I knew we wanted children but did not think it would take 13 years for that to happen. I had no idea that we would live in seven different communities, both of us graduated from college, have two cats and three dogs, and that I would lose my dad at 32.
No- there were a lot of things my 21 year old self did not know. Like how much work it takes to keep communication going in a relationship. How much you have to give of yourself, or how loud your new husband would SNORE!! LOL~
But that 21 year old also had no idea of what a wonderful man she had. She had no idea of the caliber of man she had chosen. How he would support her and encourage her and make her laugh when things seemed hopeless, and how all these years later- she would still adore him. She could not have imagined how many times he would pray with and for her, and the little surprises he would shower on her.
I remember one Christmas that Rich sent me on a scavenger hunt and ended with a huge box. I kept opening and opening as the boxes got smaller and smaller until I opened a key. The key opened a drawer in our computer cabinet and inside was a ring box with a sapphire ring inside! I still don't know how he managed to afford it or hide it- but he did.
I would tell that 21 year old girl that when she would journey through one of the darkest times in her life (her grandma, grandpa and dad would all die in less than 5 months) that her husband would be right there holding her up, crying with her, and helping her through the mind-numbing pain. He would also be there for two of the greatest days ever....the day Kendall was born and the day Ian was born. How he cut each of their umbilical cords and was right there while they were weighed and measured. How he rejoiced in each child and how he continues to love and guide each of them now.
I think that in another 23 years what my 67 year old self will say to the 44 year old who is typing this now. What other sorrows and joys will we have walked through together?
All I can say is that 23 years ago my life was joined with another....and I am honored and humbled to have walked this journey with him....
I love you Rich!!
My 21 year old self did not know what would be embedded in those 23 years. I knew we wanted children but did not think it would take 13 years for that to happen. I had no idea that we would live in seven different communities, both of us graduated from college, have two cats and three dogs, and that I would lose my dad at 32.
No- there were a lot of things my 21 year old self did not know. Like how much work it takes to keep communication going in a relationship. How much you have to give of yourself, or how loud your new husband would SNORE!! LOL~
But that 21 year old also had no idea of what a wonderful man she had. She had no idea of the caliber of man she had chosen. How he would support her and encourage her and make her laugh when things seemed hopeless, and how all these years later- she would still adore him. She could not have imagined how many times he would pray with and for her, and the little surprises he would shower on her.
I remember one Christmas that Rich sent me on a scavenger hunt and ended with a huge box. I kept opening and opening as the boxes got smaller and smaller until I opened a key. The key opened a drawer in our computer cabinet and inside was a ring box with a sapphire ring inside! I still don't know how he managed to afford it or hide it- but he did.
I would tell that 21 year old girl that when she would journey through one of the darkest times in her life (her grandma, grandpa and dad would all die in less than 5 months) that her husband would be right there holding her up, crying with her, and helping her through the mind-numbing pain. He would also be there for two of the greatest days ever....the day Kendall was born and the day Ian was born. How he cut each of their umbilical cords and was right there while they were weighed and measured. How he rejoiced in each child and how he continues to love and guide each of them now.
I think that in another 23 years what my 67 year old self will say to the 44 year old who is typing this now. What other sorrows and joys will we have walked through together?
All I can say is that 23 years ago my life was joined with another....and I am honored and humbled to have walked this journey with him....
I love you Rich!!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Super Heroes are my Friends!
I've been trying to give myself some time off now that school is out and try and "dial down". What I did not bargain for was this past week.
I'm usually a very positive person and don't get too negative or depressed about things. And then this week happened. We really thought that my husband would get the job he had interviewed for which would bring some welcome relief to this 5 months of unemployment. I had auditioned for a show that I had always wanted to do and I had tickets to see my favorite band in the entire universe...RED. I had also planned on really getting on with my writing.
So- the hubby did not get the job- I did not get a part in the show- RED cancelled their concert- and I did not write much of anything. Yay! It seemed as if nothing was going according to my plan.
Here's what I am realizing this morning....we got to spend some time with a neat couple in the town my husband had the job interview in. We learned more about them and that they are the most gracious hosts you could ever want. I did my best at the tryouts and have no control at the outcome. It was simply not to be this time. But I do have some wonderful friends that I have met through drama and just because I am not in the show doesn't mean I will lose them. Some of my best pals in the world were with me when we found out the RED show was cancelled and they pooled their money together to buy me a necklace at the mall that has some symbols of my book on it. (cross, skull, lock, a wing, and a heart) They knew I was sooo disappointed and bummed out and showed their love for me by buying it.
When I got home last night, my best friend in all the world was there to listen to me share my feelings about all the crap that happened this week. I am so proud to say that next Saturday I will have been married to this friend for 23 years!
I got on Facebook last night to post what had happened and to check out what the band was saying about the cancellation. What it boiled down to was the venue was not safe. It was in a rough neighborhood- which is not a complete deal breaker with me- but the fact that it was dirty and had human waste on the floor of the bathrooms and the sound system was shot....was a deal breaker. I figured that RED did what was in the best interest of the fans. Yes I was bummed- but in the grand scheme of things...this was for our safety.
People from the venue had been posting things on their site that were not very nice at all..so I posted that I still loved RED (which I do) and that we had talked to people that worked in the mall that had told us the venue was not great. Another fan liked my status and sent me a private message. After messaging each other I find out that RED is her ultimate favorite band, she has done the Acoustic Experience (met them on the tour bus) has kids, and is writing her first novel.
Yes- you saw that right...not only had I met a fellow REDhead- I had (through the cancellation of the show) just "met" someone who I could relate to. My fingers could not type fast enough to reply to her. I'm not sure what will happen with this...but I do know that I have another person to call my friend- and she is in good company.
I have learned this week that friends are what it's all about. I am finally beginning to get it through my thick skull that the best of friends will stick with you no matter what you are going through. No matter what your attitude is or if you yell because you are trying to deal with the emotions, or if you feel like pulling away..they will hold your arms so that you can't run.
Another friend gave me a coin that has a very Celtic looking cross on it on one side and the words on the other side read; "With God, all things are possible". Someone had walked into the store she was working in and gave it to her. She had just gotten finished reading my notes of FB about what a crummy week I had and Friday night she gave it to me at our Girls Night Out. I was deeply moved by her gift, just as I was with the ladies buying the necklace last night, and my husband waiting up for me last night so I could vent my feelings to him. Even through the mess of the cancelled RED show last night...I made a new friend.
No one lives in a vacuum. We all need people around us to encourage and support us. Until this week I did not realize how important our friends are- not only in the great times, but in the dark times.
It's funny- as I am typing this on our back deck, my raven pair is going crazy this morning. They are calling to each other and flying and dive bombing and moving from tree to tree. They are two sleek black encouragers sent by the Ultimate Friend to let me know to keep going with my writing. To keep sitting in that seat day after day after day and write.
So you see....they are all my Super Heroes! I love you guys!
Do you have friends that are there not only in the good times, but the tough ones too? Let them know today what they mean to you! You won't be sorry you did!
I'm usually a very positive person and don't get too negative or depressed about things. And then this week happened. We really thought that my husband would get the job he had interviewed for which would bring some welcome relief to this 5 months of unemployment. I had auditioned for a show that I had always wanted to do and I had tickets to see my favorite band in the entire universe...RED. I had also planned on really getting on with my writing.
So- the hubby did not get the job- I did not get a part in the show- RED cancelled their concert- and I did not write much of anything. Yay! It seemed as if nothing was going according to my plan.
Here's what I am realizing this morning....we got to spend some time with a neat couple in the town my husband had the job interview in. We learned more about them and that they are the most gracious hosts you could ever want. I did my best at the tryouts and have no control at the outcome. It was simply not to be this time. But I do have some wonderful friends that I have met through drama and just because I am not in the show doesn't mean I will lose them. Some of my best pals in the world were with me when we found out the RED show was cancelled and they pooled their money together to buy me a necklace at the mall that has some symbols of my book on it. (cross, skull, lock, a wing, and a heart) They knew I was sooo disappointed and bummed out and showed their love for me by buying it.
When I got home last night, my best friend in all the world was there to listen to me share my feelings about all the crap that happened this week. I am so proud to say that next Saturday I will have been married to this friend for 23 years!
I got on Facebook last night to post what had happened and to check out what the band was saying about the cancellation. What it boiled down to was the venue was not safe. It was in a rough neighborhood- which is not a complete deal breaker with me- but the fact that it was dirty and had human waste on the floor of the bathrooms and the sound system was shot....was a deal breaker. I figured that RED did what was in the best interest of the fans. Yes I was bummed- but in the grand scheme of things...this was for our safety.
People from the venue had been posting things on their site that were not very nice at all..so I posted that I still loved RED (which I do) and that we had talked to people that worked in the mall that had told us the venue was not great. Another fan liked my status and sent me a private message. After messaging each other I find out that RED is her ultimate favorite band, she has done the Acoustic Experience (met them on the tour bus) has kids, and is writing her first novel.
Yes- you saw that right...not only had I met a fellow REDhead- I had (through the cancellation of the show) just "met" someone who I could relate to. My fingers could not type fast enough to reply to her. I'm not sure what will happen with this...but I do know that I have another person to call my friend- and she is in good company.
I have learned this week that friends are what it's all about. I am finally beginning to get it through my thick skull that the best of friends will stick with you no matter what you are going through. No matter what your attitude is or if you yell because you are trying to deal with the emotions, or if you feel like pulling away..they will hold your arms so that you can't run.
Another friend gave me a coin that has a very Celtic looking cross on it on one side and the words on the other side read; "With God, all things are possible". Someone had walked into the store she was working in and gave it to her. She had just gotten finished reading my notes of FB about what a crummy week I had and Friday night she gave it to me at our Girls Night Out. I was deeply moved by her gift, just as I was with the ladies buying the necklace last night, and my husband waiting up for me last night so I could vent my feelings to him. Even through the mess of the cancelled RED show last night...I made a new friend.
No one lives in a vacuum. We all need people around us to encourage and support us. Until this week I did not realize how important our friends are- not only in the great times, but in the dark times.
It's funny- as I am typing this on our back deck, my raven pair is going crazy this morning. They are calling to each other and flying and dive bombing and moving from tree to tree. They are two sleek black encouragers sent by the Ultimate Friend to let me know to keep going with my writing. To keep sitting in that seat day after day after day and write.
So you see....they are all my Super Heroes! I love you guys!
Do you have friends that are there not only in the good times, but the tough ones too? Let them know today what they mean to you! You won't be sorry you did!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Eating Ice Cream From the Bucket
Wow! It's been awhile since I have blogged. It's May and that is always a busy month for school teachers. I had a big event at school that went great and Ian's 5th Birthday was Thursday, so things have been going full tilt!
That's not always a good thing though. Sometimes when you get going too fast and flitting from one event to the next- you lose focus. For me, it all came crashing down on Friday. I had a horrible headache and the day of writing that I thought I would have turned into a day of feeling sorry for myself. I allowed my thoughts to travel down dark roads and take me places I should have said "No thank you" to.
After all the fun and games on Friday- I turned right around and got right back into the thick of things and ended up doing things Sat. out of obligation. So this morning as I sat in church at the keyboard practicing for worship....I realized that I have not been taking time to rest and recharge.
When we got home from church and another activity.....I knew things had to change. I told the kids that they could watch a movie and play in their rooms and that Rich and I were going to watch "Return of the King". For me that movie helps me to "re-boot" my system and also gives me inspiration for my writing. My hubby and I had lunch while we watched and even popped popcorn.
After three and a half hours of movie (about 4 and a half after kids interruptions) we were ready to move to the next phase....Eating ice cream right out of the ice cream bucket! The kids thought it was the coolest thing in the world. I thought it was about time to switch things up a little. As watched my son dig his spoon into the huge mound of chocolate chip ice cream I realized that we all need to "break the rules" once in awhile- kick back and let things go for a few hours.
I'm such a list maker and dragon slayer that I rarely ever allow myself to do nothing at all. I need to remind myself from time to time that I need the nothingness so that my brain and body can recharge and I can be a better wife, mother, teacher and writer.
So have you had a chance to recharge? Do you need to grab some spoons and eat some ice cream out of the bucket today? I'm so glad that I did!
That's not always a good thing though. Sometimes when you get going too fast and flitting from one event to the next- you lose focus. For me, it all came crashing down on Friday. I had a horrible headache and the day of writing that I thought I would have turned into a day of feeling sorry for myself. I allowed my thoughts to travel down dark roads and take me places I should have said "No thank you" to.
After all the fun and games on Friday- I turned right around and got right back into the thick of things and ended up doing things Sat. out of obligation. So this morning as I sat in church at the keyboard practicing for worship....I realized that I have not been taking time to rest and recharge.
When we got home from church and another activity.....I knew things had to change. I told the kids that they could watch a movie and play in their rooms and that Rich and I were going to watch "Return of the King". For me that movie helps me to "re-boot" my system and also gives me inspiration for my writing. My hubby and I had lunch while we watched and even popped popcorn.
After three and a half hours of movie (about 4 and a half after kids interruptions) we were ready to move to the next phase....Eating ice cream right out of the ice cream bucket! The kids thought it was the coolest thing in the world. I thought it was about time to switch things up a little. As watched my son dig his spoon into the huge mound of chocolate chip ice cream I realized that we all need to "break the rules" once in awhile- kick back and let things go for a few hours.
I'm such a list maker and dragon slayer that I rarely ever allow myself to do nothing at all. I need to remind myself from time to time that I need the nothingness so that my brain and body can recharge and I can be a better wife, mother, teacher and writer.
So have you had a chance to recharge? Do you need to grab some spoons and eat some ice cream out of the bucket today? I'm so glad that I did!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Finding the Perspective in Easter
I am not a stranger to writing from a certain perspective. I have written stories from different points of view for a very long time. I remember writing the Easter story from different points of view- Mary, John, a Roman soldier, etc. I tried to imagine what it might have been like to be there. To be that close to Jesus and the cross. I actually thought I had done a pretty decent job...that is until Friday night.
I play the keyboard for the worship band at my church and had been asked to play for the Good Friday service. I didn't mind in the least and knew going into it that the Crucifixion would take place on the stage where the band was set up. At practice on Monday, it was a little uncomfortable being inches away from Jesus lying on the cross and the soldiers hammering the wood of the cross. I tried to ignore the cries of the man that was portraying Jesus as they did this. He did not have the fake blood smeared over his body and it still made me want to get out of there.
Friday night, things seemed rushed and the band did not even get to do a sound check together. I usually don't get too nervous before I play, but that night I was going crazy inside! We had an important service to do and I felt we might not be ready- and our worship leader was losing his voice. We gathered in the back room to pray and our leader prayed this awesome prayer all about how the focus was on Jesus not us or what we did. It was a good reminder that it was all about Him and not about me.
As the team took to the stage, I found my heart beat was more regular and I felt ready for the service. Everything seemed to go off well and I was preparing to play "How He Loves Us" by the David Crowder Band. It is one of my all time favorite songs and I love to play and sing it. But Friday night as Jesus was led to the stage with just a loincloth and a crown of thorns, bloody lines across his back and blood dripping down his face; I had a whole new perspective of the love that God has for me.
As I was singing the words: "And we are His portion and He is our prize, Drawn by redemption by the grace in His eyes, If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking. How He loves us, oh how He loves us, ....." I was suddenly and violently reminded of God's complete and total love for me. I always say that I am not a rainbow and puppy happy person, but I think my view of Jesus's sacrifice might have been.
What I witnessed happening right in front of me was powerful-yes. But as I was listening to the hammer hit a large metal plate and Jesus screaming I realized that the cross experience was loud and messy and horrifying and bloody. I was looking at love in its most organic. Someone loved me enough to take this kind of torture to atone for MY sins. Not his. He didn't do anything!
There was just something about having Jesus hanging on the cross just inches from me that has changed my viewpoint of exactly what He did on the cross that day. It has changed from merely being a detached observer to being right there.
It was a view point I had never had. Until Friday night.
It made me think of my view points of my characters in my novel and for some reason and I know that the experience I had Friday will help with my character's perspective.
I challenge you to look at things from a different view point today. You never know what you may discover. Happy Easter!
I play the keyboard for the worship band at my church and had been asked to play for the Good Friday service. I didn't mind in the least and knew going into it that the Crucifixion would take place on the stage where the band was set up. At practice on Monday, it was a little uncomfortable being inches away from Jesus lying on the cross and the soldiers hammering the wood of the cross. I tried to ignore the cries of the man that was portraying Jesus as they did this. He did not have the fake blood smeared over his body and it still made me want to get out of there.
Friday night, things seemed rushed and the band did not even get to do a sound check together. I usually don't get too nervous before I play, but that night I was going crazy inside! We had an important service to do and I felt we might not be ready- and our worship leader was losing his voice. We gathered in the back room to pray and our leader prayed this awesome prayer all about how the focus was on Jesus not us or what we did. It was a good reminder that it was all about Him and not about me.
As the team took to the stage, I found my heart beat was more regular and I felt ready for the service. Everything seemed to go off well and I was preparing to play "How He Loves Us" by the David Crowder Band. It is one of my all time favorite songs and I love to play and sing it. But Friday night as Jesus was led to the stage with just a loincloth and a crown of thorns, bloody lines across his back and blood dripping down his face; I had a whole new perspective of the love that God has for me.
As I was singing the words: "And we are His portion and He is our prize, Drawn by redemption by the grace in His eyes, If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking. How He loves us, oh how He loves us, ....." I was suddenly and violently reminded of God's complete and total love for me. I always say that I am not a rainbow and puppy happy person, but I think my view of Jesus's sacrifice might have been.
What I witnessed happening right in front of me was powerful-yes. But as I was listening to the hammer hit a large metal plate and Jesus screaming I realized that the cross experience was loud and messy and horrifying and bloody. I was looking at love in its most organic. Someone loved me enough to take this kind of torture to atone for MY sins. Not his. He didn't do anything!
There was just something about having Jesus hanging on the cross just inches from me that has changed my viewpoint of exactly what He did on the cross that day. It has changed from merely being a detached observer to being right there.
It was a view point I had never had. Until Friday night.
It made me think of my view points of my characters in my novel and for some reason and I know that the experience I had Friday will help with my character's perspective.
I challenge you to look at things from a different view point today. You never know what you may discover. Happy Easter!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Signs Along the Way
I have to say that the last two weeks have been very surreal for me. Just about every day I have run into a Bible verse, a person, a song, or something that has given me great encouragement as far as the novel is concerned.
Two weeks ago, I met Liz Curtis Higgs and she gave me great writing tips and she was just a wonderful lady to meet! Saturday I got to meet the Warden, whose writing is about as different from Liz's as can be- but when she talked to me, she also offered words of wisdom although a couple of those words would have to be censored! She told me to follow what my characters are telling me and write what I see and not to give a @#$% what other people think! And I needed to hear that- being the people pleaser that I am. It is funny that in the space of 10 days I had a chance to meet two authors. I could only think of two other authors I have ever met in person in my whole life!
So something is up. Today, when our special speaker that I thought was going to talk about Dinosaurs and Noah's Ark began to talk about dragons......well I knew it was yet another sign for me to keep going with this book idea. ( He had pictures of dragons on cave walls, in art, in sculpture.... it was crazy!) After that, I should have not been the least bit surprised when the speaker flashed a bible verse that had a raven in it on the screen. (I mean, if he was going to talk about two animals in my book those would be the two..)
I've tried a new brainstorming idea too. I have such a hard time visualizing things and thought that I would try index cards and put them on the kitchen table and when I am talking to Rich about concepts or characters, I could move the cards around and that would help. Turns out, not only does it help, but it has broken some things wide open! I am so glad I finally figured out what works for me.
I have been paying attention- the signs are everywhere! I told Rich last night that I feel a little like Elijah when God provided food for him in the wilderness. I keep getting what I need every day.
Oh- did I happen to mention that ravens brought Elijah the food? Yes- I said ravens.
Are you paying attention to the signs all around YOU? I encourage you to look for them and see how you are being provided for and sustained. It just may be enough to get you through another day. Your signs may not be ravens or dragons or authors; but you will know them when you see them.
Open your eyes!
Two weeks ago, I met Liz Curtis Higgs and she gave me great writing tips and she was just a wonderful lady to meet! Saturday I got to meet the Warden, whose writing is about as different from Liz's as can be- but when she talked to me, she also offered words of wisdom although a couple of those words would have to be censored! She told me to follow what my characters are telling me and write what I see and not to give a @#$% what other people think! And I needed to hear that- being the people pleaser that I am. It is funny that in the space of 10 days I had a chance to meet two authors. I could only think of two other authors I have ever met in person in my whole life!
So something is up. Today, when our special speaker that I thought was going to talk about Dinosaurs and Noah's Ark began to talk about dragons......well I knew it was yet another sign for me to keep going with this book idea. ( He had pictures of dragons on cave walls, in art, in sculpture.... it was crazy!) After that, I should have not been the least bit surprised when the speaker flashed a bible verse that had a raven in it on the screen. (I mean, if he was going to talk about two animals in my book those would be the two..)
I've tried a new brainstorming idea too. I have such a hard time visualizing things and thought that I would try index cards and put them on the kitchen table and when I am talking to Rich about concepts or characters, I could move the cards around and that would help. Turns out, not only does it help, but it has broken some things wide open! I am so glad I finally figured out what works for me.
I have been paying attention- the signs are everywhere! I told Rich last night that I feel a little like Elijah when God provided food for him in the wilderness. I keep getting what I need every day.
Oh- did I happen to mention that ravens brought Elijah the food? Yes- I said ravens.
Are you paying attention to the signs all around YOU? I encourage you to look for them and see how you are being provided for and sustained. It just may be enough to get you through another day. Your signs may not be ravens or dragons or authors; but you will know them when you see them.
Open your eyes!
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