If you know me- you know these two things:
1- I am a History geek.
2- I am a mover and a shaker.
I have always been fascinated with history- what happened in the past and how that affects us now. I remember in high school, doing research on World War II-not for a project; but because I wanted to. (geeky- I know.) But I love history.
I came across a song yesterday called "Late Have I Loved You" by Gungor. It spoke to me and I have been listening to it over and over. I had put the song on FaceBook and a friend from high school commented that it was from a prayer by St. Augustine. Being the history buff I am- I looked it up..and St. Augustine lived in the 300's. He didn't come to know God until he was in his 30's and a part of his writings are the song I referenced earlier.
Late have I loved You
Beauty so ancient
So new
Late have I loved You
You were within me, but I was outside You
It was there that I searched for You
You were here with me
But I was not with You
It was there that You found me
You called and You shouted
You broke through my deafness
You flashed and you shone
Dispelled all my blindness
You breathed Your fragrance on me
I drew in Your breath
And I keep on breathing
I’ve tasted I’ve seen
And now I want more
You breathed Your fragrance on me
Late have I loved You
The one piece of the song that spoke to me (maybe shouted??) was " I drew in Your breath- and I keep on breathing..."
I thought about some of the songs that have been speaking to me personally that are on my novel playlist and eight of them talk about breathing. Why is that such a big deal? My number two thing in my intro today is that I am a mover and shaker...I am a list maker, a doer, a gal that gets things done. Someone once told me that if I went after something like a pit bull...I wouldn't let go until I got what I wanted.
On some level- that is a compliment- and on another it's a huge stumbling block. There are so many times that I think I can get things done all by myself...and I try again and again in my own power to do things that I need God's help but I don't ask for it.
"And this is how it feels when I ignore the words You spoke to me.
And this where I lose myself when I keep running away from You
And this is who I am when I don't know myself anymore...this is what I choose when it's all left up to me...
Breathe Your life into me-I can't feel You....I'm falling- falling faster.
Breathe Your life into me- I still need You- I'm falling...falling....breathe into me." ~RED "Breathe Into Me"
This was the first RED song I ever downloaded and it is still my all time favorite because it is so true for me. If I go and do things in my own power- I know that sooner or later I will lose myself. Somewhere along the way I will give up, or sell out, or go crazy. If I am not breathing in His Spirit...I'm going to get it all wrong.
How do I know that?
Experience.
RED's song goes on to talk about "This is how it looks when I am standing on the edge...this is how I break apart when I finally hit the ground...." I cannot count the times I have stood on the edge of something and end up shattering into pieces because I tried to do something my own way and in my own power.
There is a song by Thousand Foot Krutch called "Breathe You In"
"I've tried so hard to not walk away and when things don't go my way-
I still carry on and on just the same.
I've always been strong- I can't make this happen cuz I need to breathe- I need to breathe You in.
Fear of becoming- I'm so tired of running- I want to breathe You in- I want to breathe You in.
I'm going in-so cover me-Your compass will help me turn the page...."
Ok-here is the hard part for me. I don't like to stop and just breathe. I like to be going and doing and accomplishing things....marking them off my list...but I don't like to sit around.
When I get all worked up from constantly being on the go...my husband will tell me to "just breathe." Usually I don't like it at the time- but I know when I hear it that I have gotten too involved in whatever it is and have not taken time to "chill".
Another Thousand Foot Krutch song Learn to Breathe- says "Take the time to learn to breathe.."
Learn to breathe? Me? I thought breathing was something I do without even thinking about....
But those deep breaths?
The time to breathe in and out and refocus myself?
The breaths that I need from a higher power so that I can do what I was created to do?
Those are different.
That kind of breathing is the kind that St. Augustine was talking about- 1700 years ago.
That's the kind of breathing that is going to keep me strong.
Those breaths are going to fill me when I don't think I can keep going.
Those breaths are going to transform me from what I am now into what He knows I can be.
All I have to do?
Just breathe.
*****************
Songs on my "Breathing Playlist"
"Breathe"- Ben Cantelon
"Late Have I Loved You" - Gungor
"Breathe"- Superchick
"Breathe Into Me" RED (remix also)
"Breathe You In" Thousand Foot Krutch
"Breathe" Amberlin
"Breathless" Better Than Ezra
'Learn to Breathe" Thousand Foot Krutch
2 videos----Late Have I Loved You and Breathe You In
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Love Is In the Air!
One of the pieces to my story is love. Yes- there is romantic love, but there is also the love between friends, parent/child, love for your country, etc.
After so many weeks of listening to play lists: "Fighting Music" & "Battle Music", I am listening to "Novel Love Songs". It is a nice change of pace. One thing that I have to mention is that out of the 21 songs that are on the list- only three artists are Christian. Which makes me wonder why more CM artists don't write love songs. I'm not talking love songs to Jesus and God- because there are many of those- but love between two people. I suppose "Already Over" and "Never Be the Same" by RED could go either way- but for the novel they are between two people. Plumb and Switchfoot are the other two artists.
Am I complaining? Not at all--I just thought it was interesting......
One of the areas I am exploring is romantic love. One character would be considered one of the bad guys- yet I am walking with him through the love he had for a woman - to the point that he gave up his freedom . The more time I spend with him, the more I understand that love can be intense and frightening.
It can also be hilarious! Another couple are so mismatched....he is huge and she is tiny. He is loud and she is more reserved. They really don't see what everyone else does... they were made for each other! He loves her with a sweetness that gets me every time.
Love can hit with a force that is almost unexplainable. A man takes one look at a woman and it is over for him.... And for another couple- it takes them a long time to figure the love thing out. They were friends for a very long time and each at different times they come to the realization that they love the other person. For me, it was interesting to think about that moment that you "know" you are in love with someone.
Is my story a romance? No- it's fantasy-adventure, but there is that romantic piece to it. But I have also explored love of a parent for a child. THAT has been interesting. Yes- I have drawn on my experience as a parent for some of it, but when your child dies....that is something I have not walked through. Or when you have to leave a child behind. I have been gleaning stories of servicemen and women to help me get the emotion that comes with that.
Love between friends is also explored -including love between soldiers. I've interviewed men in the service and gotten their take on your 'unit' being your family and the lengths you would go to in order to keep each other safe and what it does to each person when they lose a soldier.
There is also a 'higher power' element and the love that goes along with that. It has challenged me and I have wrestled with it, but it has been an honor to do so.
Today I would like to challenge you to look at the different facets of love in your own life. How has each had an impact on who you are as a person? If you have anything you'd like to share with me...please PM me on facebook or leave a comment here. I'm still researching .....
I will leave you with Plumb's love song "Blush".
After so many weeks of listening to play lists: "Fighting Music" & "Battle Music", I am listening to "Novel Love Songs". It is a nice change of pace. One thing that I have to mention is that out of the 21 songs that are on the list- only three artists are Christian. Which makes me wonder why more CM artists don't write love songs. I'm not talking love songs to Jesus and God- because there are many of those- but love between two people. I suppose "Already Over" and "Never Be the Same" by RED could go either way- but for the novel they are between two people. Plumb and Switchfoot are the other two artists.
Am I complaining? Not at all--I just thought it was interesting......
One of the areas I am exploring is romantic love. One character would be considered one of the bad guys- yet I am walking with him through the love he had for a woman - to the point that he gave up his freedom . The more time I spend with him, the more I understand that love can be intense and frightening.
It can also be hilarious! Another couple are so mismatched....he is huge and she is tiny. He is loud and she is more reserved. They really don't see what everyone else does... they were made for each other! He loves her with a sweetness that gets me every time.
Love can hit with a force that is almost unexplainable. A man takes one look at a woman and it is over for him.... And for another couple- it takes them a long time to figure the love thing out. They were friends for a very long time and each at different times they come to the realization that they love the other person. For me, it was interesting to think about that moment that you "know" you are in love with someone.
Is my story a romance? No- it's fantasy-adventure, but there is that romantic piece to it. But I have also explored love of a parent for a child. THAT has been interesting. Yes- I have drawn on my experience as a parent for some of it, but when your child dies....that is something I have not walked through. Or when you have to leave a child behind. I have been gleaning stories of servicemen and women to help me get the emotion that comes with that.
Love between friends is also explored -including love between soldiers. I've interviewed men in the service and gotten their take on your 'unit' being your family and the lengths you would go to in order to keep each other safe and what it does to each person when they lose a soldier.
There is also a 'higher power' element and the love that goes along with that. It has challenged me and I have wrestled with it, but it has been an honor to do so.
Today I would like to challenge you to look at the different facets of love in your own life. How has each had an impact on who you are as a person? If you have anything you'd like to share with me...please PM me on facebook or leave a comment here. I'm still researching .....
I will leave you with Plumb's love song "Blush".
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall....
I'm not sure why in the last week or so I have been getting more and more detail to my story- especially near the end. No- I'm not going into great detail because that would be a spoiling a surprise- but let's say that the ending to this tale will not disappoint!
The thing that continues to amaze me is the timing of songs, movie clips, quotes, and other things that cross my path. For example- I was watching the Matrix with Rich last night and Morpheus says "There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path." It fit right in with something in the end that I had just visualized in my head only hours before.
Also this quote hit me between the eyes..
."Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life and don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. Most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become." —Steve Jobs
That inner voice.....boy am I getting to know the sound of that!
And the new song by Coldplay that I had downloaded last week thinking it was just a song to enjoy and listen to turned into a huge conduit for me visualizing an important theme for Afton.
Two lyrical gems:
The thing that continues to amaze me is the timing of songs, movie clips, quotes, and other things that cross my path. For example- I was watching the Matrix with Rich last night and Morpheus says "There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path." It fit right in with something in the end that I had just visualized in my head only hours before.
Also this quote hit me between the eyes..
."Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life and don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. Most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become." —Steve Jobs
That inner voice.....boy am I getting to know the sound of that!
And the new song by Coldplay that I had downloaded last week thinking it was just a song to enjoy and listen to turned into a huge conduit for me visualizing an important theme for Afton.
Two lyrical gems:
Monday, July 18, 2011
Mighty Warrior
This week I have been doing a whole lot of thinking about how my story first began and how far I have come. The first paragraph of my prologue came in August three years ago. I really had no idea what I was doing or who the characters were. I remember tucking those first sentences in my Message Bible before I went to a Beth Moore conference.
Any of you who have ever been involved in her Bible studies- you know that she speaks the truth and she is very bold! I remember thinking that there was NO way that I could put a novel together and that I must be totally crazy! In the morning session she spoke about the impossible and how God was going to use the things that seem too big or too outrageous to show His power. I just kept thinking about that paragraph and wondered if He cared about that at all.
And then.....there was a whole lot of nothing. I kicked around some ideas- but for the most part I had nothing. Then in January- at church one morning I felt in my heart as if I was being called "Warrior Girl". It made sense because my novel is made up of these Women Warriors and that is something I could relate to. Then- the bottom seemed to drop out for me personally. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was having horrible cysts and tons of pain, and my neighbor's husband left her. What a mess! The book really took a backseat then.
In May I had major surgery and it was in June that the book took off! I had so many ideas and spent hours doing research on Celtic things, animals, swords, etc. The storyline was plotted out and I began to work on my characters. As the summer went by- I had more and more manuscript-but something was missing. I was getting all of the parts for the Good Guys...but nothing for the Bad Guys.
Then in church again....I felt as if I was being called "Writer"- which to me was a joke! I was just playing at this- the book was a hobby- a diversion- but not a serious thing. Being known as a writer was serious. It meant that I was doing this for real...with the hopes that one day the novel would get published.
Was I crazy? Maybe. But when I called the Frazier Museum and told them I was writing a novel and needed to do research on their swords....it got me in through the special back entrance and allowed me into the basement where they kept all of their costumes. It also got me into the sword ring where I took video. I also had the chance to work with a two handed sword and learned some sword fighting stances. All because I told them I was a writer.
That was one step closer to putting things together. After the RED concert in Louisville in Feb. I met my unexpected character and decided to leave him in the story. He honestly scared me to death...but he was the one who showed me the "dark side" of my story. I did not feel like a warrior or a writer. What surprised me when I was doing the writing assignment where I put myself in the story- I am always called Writer. Never my first or last name....just Writer.
Fast forward to yesterday....in church our pastor was talking about Gideon and how the Lord called him Mighty Warrior. Really? Here was a guy who was scared to death and was threshing wheat in a wine press so that the enemy would not see him. He said that "God knows who you are, even when you are not sure."
I had to stop for a minute as I was reminded that two years ago I was in the same boat. When I heard the name Warrior Girl it did not seem to fit me yet. And then later on- I really struggled with the title Writer. The funny thing is when our pastor told us to write down two words that describe us I wrote "powerful writer". WHAT? When did that become my truth?
Two things pastor said yesterday:
1-God called Gideon Mighty Warrior because he saw who he would become.
2-God met Gideon in the strength that he had. (God did not wait until Gideon became the Mighty Warrior- he met him at his wimpy stage and worked with what he had.)
Ok- so these past two years I have been working through those truths. And if you know anything about the story of Gideon you know that later on he would be asked to reduce his army of thousands down to 300. Why? So that Gideon would know it was the Lord winning the battle and not Gideon. Pastor Dave then said this...
"We limit God because we pick things that are relatively safe so that if God doesn't come through we can still do it ourselves."
Then Gideon is called to battle in a very unconventional way- but by that time he knows God's voice and follows through with it even though it seems CRAZY! And God comes through for Gideon. Even with torches and clay pots. Even with 300 men against thousands. Even in a man that was scared to death and did not see himself as a warrior. Even then.
I had to stop for a moment and look at that in my own life. I was scared to death about beginning a novel and questioned it a thousand times. I have no idea how it will all come together, but each day, each idea, each paragraph- I am coming closer to the end. Then begins the search for an editor and publisher and all of those "book" things. But for now- I am going to take the mantel of Writer and keep doing what I now do best. And that is to write. I have chosen to do something that is NOT safe....am I scared?
Yes I am.
But I also know that the One who has been calling me Warrior Girl and Writer has got this one. So - like Gideon- I just keep moving forward.
What about you? Is there something that you are scared to death of? Something that you are limiting God in? Are you being called a name that you do not feel you can "fit" into? I encourage you to explore that today and see where it takes you. You will not be disappointed!
I am including the video "Get It Right" by Silverline. Be encouraged Mighty Warrior! (and watch the video to the very end....)
Any of you who have ever been involved in her Bible studies- you know that she speaks the truth and she is very bold! I remember thinking that there was NO way that I could put a novel together and that I must be totally crazy! In the morning session she spoke about the impossible and how God was going to use the things that seem too big or too outrageous to show His power. I just kept thinking about that paragraph and wondered if He cared about that at all.
And then.....there was a whole lot of nothing. I kicked around some ideas- but for the most part I had nothing. Then in January- at church one morning I felt in my heart as if I was being called "Warrior Girl". It made sense because my novel is made up of these Women Warriors and that is something I could relate to. Then- the bottom seemed to drop out for me personally. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was having horrible cysts and tons of pain, and my neighbor's husband left her. What a mess! The book really took a backseat then.
In May I had major surgery and it was in June that the book took off! I had so many ideas and spent hours doing research on Celtic things, animals, swords, etc. The storyline was plotted out and I began to work on my characters. As the summer went by- I had more and more manuscript-but something was missing. I was getting all of the parts for the Good Guys...but nothing for the Bad Guys.
Then in church again....I felt as if I was being called "Writer"- which to me was a joke! I was just playing at this- the book was a hobby- a diversion- but not a serious thing. Being known as a writer was serious. It meant that I was doing this for real...with the hopes that one day the novel would get published.
Was I crazy? Maybe. But when I called the Frazier Museum and told them I was writing a novel and needed to do research on their swords....it got me in through the special back entrance and allowed me into the basement where they kept all of their costumes. It also got me into the sword ring where I took video. I also had the chance to work with a two handed sword and learned some sword fighting stances. All because I told them I was a writer.
That was one step closer to putting things together. After the RED concert in Louisville in Feb. I met my unexpected character and decided to leave him in the story. He honestly scared me to death...but he was the one who showed me the "dark side" of my story. I did not feel like a warrior or a writer. What surprised me when I was doing the writing assignment where I put myself in the story- I am always called Writer. Never my first or last name....just Writer.
Fast forward to yesterday....in church our pastor was talking about Gideon and how the Lord called him Mighty Warrior. Really? Here was a guy who was scared to death and was threshing wheat in a wine press so that the enemy would not see him. He said that "God knows who you are, even when you are not sure."
I had to stop for a minute as I was reminded that two years ago I was in the same boat. When I heard the name Warrior Girl it did not seem to fit me yet. And then later on- I really struggled with the title Writer. The funny thing is when our pastor told us to write down two words that describe us I wrote "powerful writer". WHAT? When did that become my truth?
Two things pastor said yesterday:
1-God called Gideon Mighty Warrior because he saw who he would become.
2-God met Gideon in the strength that he had. (God did not wait until Gideon became the Mighty Warrior- he met him at his wimpy stage and worked with what he had.)
Ok- so these past two years I have been working through those truths. And if you know anything about the story of Gideon you know that later on he would be asked to reduce his army of thousands down to 300. Why? So that Gideon would know it was the Lord winning the battle and not Gideon. Pastor Dave then said this...
"We limit God because we pick things that are relatively safe so that if God doesn't come through we can still do it ourselves."
Then Gideon is called to battle in a very unconventional way- but by that time he knows God's voice and follows through with it even though it seems CRAZY! And God comes through for Gideon. Even with torches and clay pots. Even with 300 men against thousands. Even in a man that was scared to death and did not see himself as a warrior. Even then.
I had to stop for a moment and look at that in my own life. I was scared to death about beginning a novel and questioned it a thousand times. I have no idea how it will all come together, but each day, each idea, each paragraph- I am coming closer to the end. Then begins the search for an editor and publisher and all of those "book" things. But for now- I am going to take the mantel of Writer and keep doing what I now do best. And that is to write. I have chosen to do something that is NOT safe....am I scared?
Yes I am.
But I also know that the One who has been calling me Warrior Girl and Writer has got this one. So - like Gideon- I just keep moving forward.
What about you? Is there something that you are scared to death of? Something that you are limiting God in? Are you being called a name that you do not feel you can "fit" into? I encourage you to explore that today and see where it takes you. You will not be disappointed!
I am including the video "Get It Right" by Silverline. Be encouraged Mighty Warrior! (and watch the video to the very end....)
Monday, July 11, 2011
Girl Power!
I woke up this morning with Afton on my mind. That's not a big deal considering she is my main character in my novel...but she is unique in the fact that most high adventure main characters are boys. (Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, etc.) Since the first day I came up with the idea for the story- she has been the hero of the story. Sure- there are plenty of guys in the story, as a matter of fact Afton's best friend is a boy named Will, but she along with a few other girls, have the spotlight.
I had someone ask me if Afton was like Zena. My reply? No. Afton is just a girl who find herself in the midst of a quest. A quest she did not ask for and in a battle she did not start. Along the way she finds herself in many different situations that help her to become the woman she was meant to be.
I would have to say that my inspiration for Afton came from the voices of girls in books that I loved as a girl. Heidi, Anne, Caddie, Laura, Jo, and Scout to name a few. Here were strong girls that, in their own unique way, found their way into the hearts of those that read their stories. In today's literature there are a whole new generation of strong girls: Bella, Clary, and Katniss- they too join the ranks of strong girls.
I love that Afton loves sword fighting! It is like breathing to her and I love that she is very accomplished at it. She did have some natural talent for it, but also trained hard to become the warrior she is near the end. That doesn't mean she is any less female just because she is good with a sword. That's just her "thing". Other girls in the story are good at other things; healing others, singing, speaking words of truth. (There is another girl who is talented not just with the sword but with other weapons too! She is a kick!)
The thing I am learning through the creative process is that strength comes in many different forms. One does not have to wield a sword to be powerful.
All I have to do is look at the women and girls around me to know this truth.
I see power in the girl who is afraid to go to a new school, but gets the courage to do it and finds out she is stronger than she ever suspected!
I see the woman whose husband left, who is now raising her children on her own and taking chances she never dreamed of two years ago.
I know several women who are finding that as they pick through the pieces of their former lives- they are finding shards that they are using to rebuild their lives and the lives of those around them.
I love the women who use their creative voice to tell their story. Be it through dance, poetry, jewelry making, sewing, or writing a novel, the women around me are not sitting in silence- they are letting their voices be heard!
I get so emotional when I really think about the women in my past and in my present who have shared their lives with me. You have all had a part in writing my novel, because you have spoken into my life. I think of both my grandmothers, my mom, my friends in high school and college, my friends in several states, my former students, and the list goes on.
So to all of those women and girls.....this blog is for YOU today! Thank you for touching my life with your unique story and showing me the power you have. I am so glad our paths have crossed!
I am dedicating the song "Fire In My Eyes" by Fireflight to all of you!
Here's to Girl Power!!
***********************
The book characters I referred to:
Heidi- "Heidi"
Anne- "Anne of Green Gables"
Caddie- "Caddie Woodlawn"
Laura- "Little House on the Prairie"
Jo- "Little Women"
Scout- "To Kill a Mockingbird"
Bella- "Breaking Dawn"
Clary-"City of Bones"
Katniss- "Hunger Games"
I had someone ask me if Afton was like Zena. My reply? No. Afton is just a girl who find herself in the midst of a quest. A quest she did not ask for and in a battle she did not start. Along the way she finds herself in many different situations that help her to become the woman she was meant to be.
I would have to say that my inspiration for Afton came from the voices of girls in books that I loved as a girl. Heidi, Anne, Caddie, Laura, Jo, and Scout to name a few. Here were strong girls that, in their own unique way, found their way into the hearts of those that read their stories. In today's literature there are a whole new generation of strong girls: Bella, Clary, and Katniss- they too join the ranks of strong girls.
I love that Afton loves sword fighting! It is like breathing to her and I love that she is very accomplished at it. She did have some natural talent for it, but also trained hard to become the warrior she is near the end. That doesn't mean she is any less female just because she is good with a sword. That's just her "thing". Other girls in the story are good at other things; healing others, singing, speaking words of truth. (There is another girl who is talented not just with the sword but with other weapons too! She is a kick!)
The thing I am learning through the creative process is that strength comes in many different forms. One does not have to wield a sword to be powerful.
All I have to do is look at the women and girls around me to know this truth.
I see power in the girl who is afraid to go to a new school, but gets the courage to do it and finds out she is stronger than she ever suspected!
I see the woman whose husband left, who is now raising her children on her own and taking chances she never dreamed of two years ago.
I know several women who are finding that as they pick through the pieces of their former lives- they are finding shards that they are using to rebuild their lives and the lives of those around them.
I love the women who use their creative voice to tell their story. Be it through dance, poetry, jewelry making, sewing, or writing a novel, the women around me are not sitting in silence- they are letting their voices be heard!
I get so emotional when I really think about the women in my past and in my present who have shared their lives with me. You have all had a part in writing my novel, because you have spoken into my life. I think of both my grandmothers, my mom, my friends in high school and college, my friends in several states, my former students, and the list goes on.
So to all of those women and girls.....this blog is for YOU today! Thank you for touching my life with your unique story and showing me the power you have. I am so glad our paths have crossed!
I am dedicating the song "Fire In My Eyes" by Fireflight to all of you!
Here's to Girl Power!!
***********************
The book characters I referred to:
Heidi- "Heidi"
Anne- "Anne of Green Gables"
Caddie- "Caddie Woodlawn"
Laura- "Little House on the Prairie"
Jo- "Little Women"
Scout- "To Kill a Mockingbird"
Bella- "Breaking Dawn"
Clary-"City of Bones"
Katniss- "Hunger Games"
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Hope & Ravens
I've been reading a book called "Plan B" by Pete Wilson. It's all about how God works through those Plan B moments in your life...you know- when you have Plan A all figured out and it crashes down around you and you have to go to Plan B.
No one chooses a Plan B- it just happens. And I know because I have been through a few in my life- having scoliosis and wearing a back brace for three years in Jr. High (that makes you really popular by the way), dealing with an eating disorder, the death of my grandma, grandpa and dad in a four month period of time, moving far away from family & friends, and infertility. I am no stranger to Plan Bs, so you would think I would be prepared for them by now.
Nope.
Not even close.
My husband lost his job six months ago and things have been really tough. There has been no one to bail us out and it is a scary time, especially having two kids. The job hunt has been slow and we are all without health insurance. Honestly- there are some things that have not gotten paid. I hate it with all my heart- but it is what it is. It stinks. And in moments of weakness I have not dealt with it very well.
So when I had the chance to see RED in Indy- I was so stoked because I knew I would take some shred of hope with me. And it got cancelled. Another Plan B- actually one of the gals with me that night called it that- and I didn't do too well with that either. Then I jumped at the chance to go see them in Nashville and the shred of hope that I so longed for was WAY more than that!
You see- God spoke through those four guys that night and gave me a whole lot of hope and not just a shred! When Michael sang "Not Alone" he knelt down and during the part "And I will be your hope, when you feel like it's over, I will pick you up- when your whole world shatters," and as he looked in my eyes- I knew that God had ahold of me- of my family- my novel- my school- my friends- He had it.
Pete Wilson says this; "While life is uncertain, God is not. While our power is limited, God's is limitless. While our hope may be fragile, God is hope himself."
Hope.
My hope is fragile at best..but God IS hope. Wow! That is an amazing truth! And it mirrors "Not Alone"
"I am with you, I will carry you through it all. I won't leave you, I will catch you when you feel like letting go, cuz you're not, you're not alone..."
It's been a theme for me the last few weeks....hope. It has come in the form of Bible verses, songs, movies, you name it- it has come my way.
So today I found out that I did not get selected for the writing conference that I applied for a scholarship for. I was crushed and here we go with Plan B again.... but I read the words from the book "Plan B" and here is what it said:
"I can have hope when there is no circumstantial reason to have hope. My hope is not based on what the stock market does or what others think of me or whether my life turns out the way I want it to turn out. My hope is based on a powerful, in-control God who can do and will do the impossible."
Yep..more hope.
Then I had a 'light bulb' moment. Elijah in the Bible had been dealing with some tough things and found himself alone and without food. But God sent him hope in the form of a raven. That raven fed Elijah faithfully and was God's way of giving him hope.
Just as I know God has sent my ravens in my yard as well as in my novel. They give me hope. And I know that God has plans that I have no clue about. No matter what the Plan B is- unemployment or a dashed dream or whatever you are going through right now...Hope is there.
When I was having my pity party about the writing thing this afternoon and was bulleting prayers at God- the only thing I could think of was He was saying- "I've got this."
And that's enough for me.
No one chooses a Plan B- it just happens. And I know because I have been through a few in my life- having scoliosis and wearing a back brace for three years in Jr. High (that makes you really popular by the way), dealing with an eating disorder, the death of my grandma, grandpa and dad in a four month period of time, moving far away from family & friends, and infertility. I am no stranger to Plan Bs, so you would think I would be prepared for them by now.
Nope.
Not even close.
My husband lost his job six months ago and things have been really tough. There has been no one to bail us out and it is a scary time, especially having two kids. The job hunt has been slow and we are all without health insurance. Honestly- there are some things that have not gotten paid. I hate it with all my heart- but it is what it is. It stinks. And in moments of weakness I have not dealt with it very well.
So when I had the chance to see RED in Indy- I was so stoked because I knew I would take some shred of hope with me. And it got cancelled. Another Plan B- actually one of the gals with me that night called it that- and I didn't do too well with that either. Then I jumped at the chance to go see them in Nashville and the shred of hope that I so longed for was WAY more than that!
You see- God spoke through those four guys that night and gave me a whole lot of hope and not just a shred! When Michael sang "Not Alone" he knelt down and during the part "And I will be your hope, when you feel like it's over, I will pick you up- when your whole world shatters," and as he looked in my eyes- I knew that God had ahold of me- of my family- my novel- my school- my friends- He had it.
Pete Wilson says this; "While life is uncertain, God is not. While our power is limited, God's is limitless. While our hope may be fragile, God is hope himself."
Hope.
My hope is fragile at best..but God IS hope. Wow! That is an amazing truth! And it mirrors "Not Alone"
"I am with you, I will carry you through it all. I won't leave you, I will catch you when you feel like letting go, cuz you're not, you're not alone..."
It's been a theme for me the last few weeks....hope. It has come in the form of Bible verses, songs, movies, you name it- it has come my way.
So today I found out that I did not get selected for the writing conference that I applied for a scholarship for. I was crushed and here we go with Plan B again.... but I read the words from the book "Plan B" and here is what it said:
"I can have hope when there is no circumstantial reason to have hope. My hope is not based on what the stock market does or what others think of me or whether my life turns out the way I want it to turn out. My hope is based on a powerful, in-control God who can do and will do the impossible."
Yep..more hope.
Then I had a 'light bulb' moment. Elijah in the Bible had been dealing with some tough things and found himself alone and without food. But God sent him hope in the form of a raven. That raven fed Elijah faithfully and was God's way of giving him hope.
Just as I know God has sent my ravens in my yard as well as in my novel. They give me hope. And I know that God has plans that I have no clue about. No matter what the Plan B is- unemployment or a dashed dream or whatever you are going through right now...Hope is there.
When I was having my pity party about the writing thing this afternoon and was bulleting prayers at God- the only thing I could think of was He was saying- "I've got this."
And that's enough for me.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Careful...or You'll End Up in My Novel
I am an observer. I love to watch people- and I learned from the master. My father was rather unassuming but he loved to people watch. When he and mom went to Las Vegas it was no surprise to me that his favorite thing to do was watch the people in the lobby of the hotel they stayed in. (He saw many bizarre people by the way...) Through the years I have gleaned much from just stepping back and watching people. Maybe that's why at first I may seem quiet or stuck up. I'm not either of those things, but I am observing the situation. It gives me a better idea of how to proceed.
Turns out this is an invaluable tool for writers. Even though I write fiction, I pick up inspiration from watching people. Not one single character is based on one person- but a mish-mash of physical, emotional, and verbal characteristics. So when a dear friend of mine from Nebraska sent me a sign that reads "Careful.. or you'll end up in my novel" it was the truth. If the people around me really knew what I have picked up from watching them....well I don't know if they would be honored or freaked out. (so far no restraining orders have been issued against me! LOL!)
For example, last night at the fireworks display- I saw a very tiny girl sitting on an older man's shoulders. The man was grinning from ear to ear and the itty-bitty was grabbing handfuls of his hair and giggling like mad. As I watched them, my mind took note of the man's movement, his smile and the girl's laughter. I know somewhere in my story an older man will have a small child on his shoulders with the same smile on his face. That man will never know that his simple act of carrying the small girl (possibly his granddaughter?) inspired a small scene in my novel.
As I mentioned, not one single person in my story is based on a real person- but pieces of them. For example- one of my main guys looks like the lead singer in Disciple- has the intensity and drive of Michael from RED- has the personality of my husband- and a voice similar to Josh Groban. So is he any one of those folks? Nope. He is made up of pieces of them....and others too.
I have found that Cracker Barrel is a wonderful place to get ideas from. On Christmas Eve last year there was a huge group of guys (all ages and sizes) hanging out and eating together. The noise level was crazy and it was hard for me to focus on any one person -there was so many of them talking and telling stories. Then the food came....and it became silent. The noise didn't fade away- it simply stopped. I fought the urge to laugh out loud! As they ate- there were snippets of conversation- but not much. I whipped my notebook out (I carry one or two of them everywhere....even small ones for my purse) and wrote furiously. I know it will end up somewhere in the novel. Maybe the guys are eating in the Great Hall of a castle...I don't know..but it inspired me.
If you are around me at all...chances are I have snatched something to use in my story. I probably won't tell you because like I said my characters are their own creations, but when the day comes that you read my book, you may wonder about it.
I have a set of twin brothers in my story and they have been so much fun to create. I can tell you that they started out as inspiration from a band that I love....but they have evolved into their own personalities and I am so crazy about Thad and Zev! I took a starting point and observed the real people- then I took some other things and created my characters.
So really....you don't need to be careful- chances are you are in my novel in some way, shape. or form. And if you aren't in this one--you may be in the next! LOL!
I challenge you to look around today. Just sit back and watch what's going on around you. You don't have to be a writer to observe and get inspiration from others.
By the way....when I finally found a picture of one of my bad guys- it didn't come from someone I knew, it came in a advertisement for men's clothes. I opened up the mailbox and there he was, just waiting for me to notice him!
Turns out this is an invaluable tool for writers. Even though I write fiction, I pick up inspiration from watching people. Not one single character is based on one person- but a mish-mash of physical, emotional, and verbal characteristics. So when a dear friend of mine from Nebraska sent me a sign that reads "Careful.. or you'll end up in my novel" it was the truth. If the people around me really knew what I have picked up from watching them....well I don't know if they would be honored or freaked out. (so far no restraining orders have been issued against me! LOL!)
For example, last night at the fireworks display- I saw a very tiny girl sitting on an older man's shoulders. The man was grinning from ear to ear and the itty-bitty was grabbing handfuls of his hair and giggling like mad. As I watched them, my mind took note of the man's movement, his smile and the girl's laughter. I know somewhere in my story an older man will have a small child on his shoulders with the same smile on his face. That man will never know that his simple act of carrying the small girl (possibly his granddaughter?) inspired a small scene in my novel.
As I mentioned, not one single person in my story is based on a real person- but pieces of them. For example- one of my main guys looks like the lead singer in Disciple- has the intensity and drive of Michael from RED- has the personality of my husband- and a voice similar to Josh Groban. So is he any one of those folks? Nope. He is made up of pieces of them....and others too.
I have found that Cracker Barrel is a wonderful place to get ideas from. On Christmas Eve last year there was a huge group of guys (all ages and sizes) hanging out and eating together. The noise level was crazy and it was hard for me to focus on any one person -there was so many of them talking and telling stories. Then the food came....and it became silent. The noise didn't fade away- it simply stopped. I fought the urge to laugh out loud! As they ate- there were snippets of conversation- but not much. I whipped my notebook out (I carry one or two of them everywhere....even small ones for my purse) and wrote furiously. I know it will end up somewhere in the novel. Maybe the guys are eating in the Great Hall of a castle...I don't know..but it inspired me.
If you are around me at all...chances are I have snatched something to use in my story. I probably won't tell you because like I said my characters are their own creations, but when the day comes that you read my book, you may wonder about it.
I have a set of twin brothers in my story and they have been so much fun to create. I can tell you that they started out as inspiration from a band that I love....but they have evolved into their own personalities and I am so crazy about Thad and Zev! I took a starting point and observed the real people- then I took some other things and created my characters.
So really....you don't need to be careful- chances are you are in my novel in some way, shape. or form. And if you aren't in this one--you may be in the next! LOL!
I challenge you to look around today. Just sit back and watch what's going on around you. You don't have to be a writer to observe and get inspiration from others.
By the way....when I finally found a picture of one of my bad guys- it didn't come from someone I knew, it came in a advertisement for men's clothes. I opened up the mailbox and there he was, just waiting for me to notice him!
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