Will the Real Writer Please Stand Up?

I am going to attempt as best as I can to explain what happened to me at The Ragged Edge conference this weekend.  First of all, you must understand that this was like no other writer's conference I have ever heard of.  They promised a raw, uncensored look at writing by published Christian authors.  The schedule was vague- 10-12 Ragged Edge Morning Session  12-1 Lunch  1-5 Ragged Edge Afternoon Session.  No tracks, no detailed syllabus, no specifics. 

Then there was Ted Dekker.  I have learned that you either love him or hate him.  He is not a middle of the road kind of guy.  I know his writing.  "Black" was the first novel of his that I ever read and it changed the way I looked at the world.  I thought "This guy I totally get.  He sees God in everything and he is not afraid to look at the things that many Christians just don't want to look at."  I thought I knew how Ted would be.

I was wrong.

Ted is an intense individual- that I expected.  What I did not expect was to see the passion, the creative genius, the humor, the unedited comments, or the love that comes out of this man in waves.  He promised that the Ragged Edge would not be like any other writer's conference- and he delivered. 

The stage was not set with folding chairs and a podium- it had a couch, coffee table, two chairs to the left of the couch and one to the right.  There were candles lit and the two huge background screens had fantastic modern art on it.  Ted called it his dungeon- like the one he writes in at home.  It gave a comfortable feel to the tone of the workshop. 

I only have one page of notes of the Friday for a reason....Ted wanted to share the emotional side to writing.  He and the other authors shared their joys and struggles with the writing profession.  The more they shared about who they were and what makes a writer, the more I began to relax and my heart soared. 

They were all freaks like me...  I was not alone!  Ted calls himself, "A blue monkey in a brown monkey world."  I can identify with that.  As he and Tosca, Eric, Bob, and Steven began to share their stories and the traits that make up a writer...there was a part of me that was validated.  Some of the things I do are not flaws- they are characteristics of a writer.

One of the authors said that when he takes his wife out to dinner, he chooses a table where he can look at the wall.  That way he is not tempted to observe the other people around him.  I can totally relate to that!  Observation is a powerful trait of a writer.  We watch others around us.  Where others would not notice subtle things- we do.  For example last night at PF Changs I noticed the female servers that were gathered around an attractive dark headed male server.  All of the girls were vying for his attention and one girl looked at the others and flipped her blond hair.  The guy's eyes were immediately on her.  It was fascinating to me!  I'm sure no one else noticed but I did because I am a writer and I observe.

Another trait of writers (especially fiction) is our intense feelings for everything.  I know I have been called moody or told that I wear my heart on my sleeve.  And I do.  Whatever is going on with me I feel it intensely.  It sucks for the people around me sometimes- but it is invaluable for my writing.  I need to know the devastation My main character, Afton, feels when she loses her friend, the elation she feels when she falls in love, the utter desperation when she feels she has failed her quest.  If I don't feel it- the reader won't either.

Ted told us that we have to bleed on the page.  That we have to scream at it to even get our readers to hear a whisper.  That we needed to give our stories all the emotion we had.  We can dip into the well of our own experiences as well in order to relate to things that are in our stories.  I know that I can remember how lost I felt when my dad died.  How elated I felt the first time I held Kendall and Ian in my arms.  How scared to death I felt when Rich was on a deck that collapsed and I thought I was going to be a widow. 

Imagination is also a powerful trait for a writer.  Now, any of you that know me, know that I have a well developed imagination.  I can picture dragons flying in the sky and armies of skeletons ready for battle.  I can imagine being someone else and write their POV (point of view) in a very realistic way.  Tosca Lee called it "The access to the world beyond."  and "Our window into God's heart." 

I love that!  I love that something that makes me unique and quirky is a window into my King's heart!  Wow. 

It's also a safe way to deal with things that I would not do in real life.  I am able to shatter people's lives, take things away that are dear to them, and to kill people.  I am able to wage war and have dragons let loose their fire on unsuspecting victims.  I am the creator of my world and I take that very seriously.  These people that I have created are precious to me.  I am very protective of my world and the story that is created about it.  I could do none of this without my imagination. 

What it boils down to is this.  I am a writer. 

What I thought were weaknesses are really strengths. 

I am a writer.

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I know I have posted this song before...but I realized this morning how Coldplay's "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall" sums up my writing.  The video has bright colors all mixing together in a location that is gray and rundown.  I think as writers- we bring those colors and intensity to those that have forgotten.  The references to my favorite song- music is a powerful tool that I use in my writing.  Every teardrop is a waterfall is a shout out to the fact that every tear we see as writers- we see everything and feel everything behind that tear. 

"You can hurt me bad....but still I'll raise the flag."  Writing and attempting to get published can be a painful experience..but I am committed to persevere.   I will raise the flag.

The way the front man raises his arms in the "flag" lines.....it's surrendering to a Power bigger than ourselves.  without Him there would be no words, no imagination, no observation. 

So here is the video.  If you haven't watched it...I highly recommend it.  If you have seen it...watch it again. 

I will blog more about the Ragged Edge later.  This writer is tired!